I Stand by Truth ... I Stand by Brandy.

yesterday i posted a status on facebook and i think i'm just gonna keep it up there for a while. it was basically a status about life and success. i got the words from my idol, Brandy. in a combination of both her words and mine, i posted that it is better to appreciate the journey of your life than focus so much on the destination of it. we all want success, but there are so many factors that come with said success; and if you don't acquire those factors throughout your life and learn from the mistakes made, then you'll just keep running down that path of ... nowhere.  that was my interpretation of it at least.  anyhow, Brandy's been saying this for a long time. i remember when her pregnancy special came on MTV back in 2002 and she was talking to her mother, Sonja, and her grandmother, and she said "i believe life is a journey, not a destination."  i was 14 at the time and i totally got it then.  i've definitely made mistakes in my life, but once i learn from them, that statement just comes right back because there's so much truth to it.  but she always seems to get me, along with others that love her like i do, right together when i'm feeling some kind of way about something.  she's just one of those rare artists ... rare people ... that can truly relate to the people that she touches, either through her beautiful songs or her "Brandoms" (via twitter), because she's been through similar issues, if not the same, just on a different kind of level sometimes.  she just makes you wanna do better, you know?  she makes me wanna do better, feel better, just be an all-around positive person.  i mean, i'm a naturally optimistic person already, but she just inspires me to be a greater being ... "Praise His Light" ... lol it's funny because i had a hard time writing after that last sentence ... i kept reading what i wrote above because i wanted to write about the status i wrote on facebook, but then it turned into an ode to Brandy. i have no problems with that at all lol, but it's clearly obvious that because i have pretty much grown up with her, being someone that i've listened to on a constant basis, and looked up to consistently, she's just naturally a part of my life now.  she has truly gotten me through some things (depression, relationship woes, deaths in my family, finding my identity) not just off her emotional and soulful vocal delivery through a song, but the truth that she puts behind it.  she is a gift, and as long she keeps her truth, i will stand behind her 4EVER with every fiber of my being.  i love her that much.

To new beginnings, and much success... Pt. 2

ALRIGHTY!!!! i'm finally finishing up my blog of new beginnings and much success with part two. i've wanted to do this for a while, but some things were happening personally and i couldn't focus on it like i wanted to. but now i'm ready!!! ok, so from part 1, i was talking about what was going on in the month of may. i pretty much covered a good portion of the topics of discussion for the exception of my personal relationships of my family and friends, new and old. so let's get started...

i think i'll start with family first.  i normally have no problems with family. for the most part my family is well.  but i did have some scares this year so far. well, first it started with a death, my Aunt Louise. she was 93 and it we knew it was coming but we didn't want it to though. we loved her very much and still do...RIP Aunt Louise....but later down the line (around and between april and may), two of my immediate relatives (on my mom's side) had different things goin on with them. my uncle started with his aortic dissection (google it for a good description).  it was so unexpected but it happened and it scared everyone.  my grandfather had one two years ago, and it didn't turn out too well for him. i mean, he's still here with us, but his progression is slow to say the least...but he is doing better, praise the Lord.  but back to my uncle, he is doing better now, but it could have been bad. luckily, his good health is what saved him. he was in great shape because he was recently body-building for a while. but he can no longer do that, or heavy lifting for that matter any longer.  and what is sad about that is is that really made him happy.  but he'll get better again.  but now this is somewhat stressing me out because this might be hereditary....and THAT IS NOT THE BUSINESS!!! but anyways...yay for the recovery Uncle Rob....now my Aunt Jackie's case was just as crucial if not worse.  one of the healthiest, and health-conscious people in my family (she has a damn ph.d in health education people) had a minor stroke.  when i tell you i was so scared for her guys, i jumped right up and went to dc.  i was already preparing for that trip because the week she had her stroke was the same week of my father's birth (i'll talk about that in a second).  but it stressed me out. that was like the last straw. 

when my uncle had his incident, i was a little scared and sad. scared because it had happened to my grandfather, and he didn't recover in the way i thought he would, and that had everybody trippin out. and then sad because that is my mom's little brother and the look on her face when my grandmother called and told us.....i wanted to cry but i had to keep it together for her because she was going through sooo much at the time. but the incident with my aunt, i just couldn't take it for a second. my aunt is like....my everything. i love her so much. i care about her ENTIRE life because she stresses the most out of my entire family COMBINED. if it's not about money (which she has plenty of ), it's her relationship, and then her job....that damn job. ugh, it gets me so upset, even writing about it. but when i was up there, my mom and i went to the hospital and talked to her and my aunt and i had a serious talk....a grown-up talk, and she listened to me. we had had one of these a few months ago. she was hearing me, but she didn't listen because she had too much shit on her mind...but she listened this time. she didn't have a choice. it was either do or die for her situation because we can't have anymore strokes...that's a NO-GO. just no more stress period...high blood pressure + stress + hours of sleep that you can only count on one hand = DEATH...and i need her to live. i need everyone to live. i need everyone to just stop stressing. i mentioned it in my facebook status that week because it was just saturated throughout my family, and it was freakin me out more than ever.

so to end this half, STRESS is bad. i want my family to just stop, enjoy life and not take it so head-on, full force. i mean stress is natural when you're trying to accomplish something in life, but do you have to pay for it with your health? sorry, i vote NO. just deal with it calm and rationally because i would loooove to see you in front of my face on thanksgiving, at the dinner table, instead of in a hospital somewhere. and i thank you....and i love you....my Cooke fam.

ok, i'm still talking about family....buuuut, it's my other side now. my father's side. i don't have too much to say about them yet because i'm getting to know them now. it took me a long time to get to this point. you know, it starts with my father, and me and my father's relationship had an existence, but didn't really get started until the time of his passing,  but i loved him a great deal....love u dad....but back to the brown fam, what i love about them is that they never gave up on me. and for that,  they have my full attention for the rest of my life!!! lol....i recently attended the annual brown family reunion at the end of may, and they took me in like time never passed. i felt like a stranger so it was still awkward a little bit, but that will change because they will see more of me.

now on to my friends....yay!! lol...i love the friends that i have, my close ones. we have all grown into adults in a short amount of time, but that makes our friendships with one another so much better. there are some that didn't last, among my circle that is, like i hoped, but they're still connected to each other through me....there is still hope for them (my optimism talking!!!) but aside from my old friends, i have made some new ones....and one in particular has their own special category. but yeah i don't wanna say too much about it because it's still in the beginning stages, but i'm very happy to see where it's going. i haven't been this happy, personally, in a long time so i'm gonna stick to this lol. i see a change in me and so do my friends that see me. NEW BEGINNINGS!!!! i have to say though, it did start out rough lol, but that good ole internal organ that keeps the blood pumping through my body? it told me what to do lol....but anyways, anyways, that's the deal people.

alright, so i think i've covered everything i was feeling based on this blog. i'll probably blog some more though. i'm really getting into it this time around. i just have a lot to say and that special someone is inspiring me to say it....2 points for you!!! lol....

ok i'm done...bye....holla back...see you on the flip side....

LOVE AND BLESSINGS!!!!

To new beginnings, and much success... Pt. 1

ok so this is the first time in a while that i have written a blog, but for good and bad reasons. 1, i was just being lazy. 2, i was working. 3, i didn't have too much to write about. and i told myself this year, in doing this blog, i wasn't going to write about pointless things. so nooow, i have some things to write about.


alright, so the month of may has been a somewhat busy one for me thus far. work, social calendar, and just personal relationships with family and new friends seem to have started heavy this month. i'm guessing that this is the time to kick everything i want to happen for me in life into overdrive before its too late. but sometimes, i can get so nervous and scared. I just wonder if i have what it takes to succeed. but i have to think positive and claim my success. Like one of my favorite artists, Brandy, said "I'm claiming much success for me this year, because the sun has to shine somewhere..." so that will be my motto for 2010, unless changed otherwise.

but back to this month, i went to my first (and probably last lol) all-white party. it was a very exciting event to attend. it was my first club party, as well as my first DC club experience (shoutout to Hogates). i saw people i hadn't seen in a long time, and everyone looked so good....well not everyone, but it was good to see a group of black young adults look classy in white lol. although things didn't go as planned like they were suppose to...ugh, ridiculous lol...there was still much fun that took place, thanks to my friends that i stuck with...shoutout to Naya, Kima, Kima's new beau, and her friend. AND the fact that i saw my beautiful cousins at the party just took it over the top....repping for the fam with class and beauty was what i needed. I didn't do too shabby myself either...shoutout to EXPRESS lol.

now, there was a new years' resolution that i said i was gonna stick by. if you happen to have read one of my previous blogs, it had something to do with independence. while i have plenty of that, i would love to take someone along with me on my adventures, but i'm not gonna beg, so i end up doing things by myself which is fine...but that might change soon lol. anyways, i'm saying this because i was suppose to go to this concert in DC on the 8th of this month that i was very excited for, but my concert buddy just hasn't been able to be in contact, so i've been hesitating. NO MORE OF THAT. I mean the last one i did go to though was something that i will never forget. Janelle Monae is phenomenal...i'll just leave it that lol. so yeah, i need to get back into my concert mode, immediately.

ummm...oh ok, WORK. so work has been very exhausting lately, but it has kind of paid off though. i mean i do need another one pronto, but for the time being i'm very much satisfied. i have made a lot of good friends and have just been more into work than just doing it and leaving without really getting to know the people i work with. there are times where i hate working but it's the people that make it worth coming back to, and of course the money....shoutout to my co-workers and the summer movies lol.

ok, i don't want to write anymore because i want to save some for part 2 lol...so stay alert for it.....

MUCH LOVE.

A Tragic, but Historical Moment . . .

DISCLAIMER:

This post is for MJ fans and people that appreciate and celebrate his legacy. If you do not have anything nice or positive to say, you will be blocked and i will delete your comment. I do not mind honest opinions, but not negative ones. NOT NOW, so get over it and keep steppin.

OK, so as you all know, on Thursday, June 25, 2009, Michael Joseph Jackson died at the age 50 years old. He had a cardiac arrest (which is NOT a heart attack, there is a difference), but was probably not resuscitated in time. Then reports said that he was in a coma, which resulted in his death. While it has been almost 2 days since his death, I cannot really believe he is dead . . . like, i just can't grasp it. He was such an inspiration to me, and others around the world. He (and Janet!!) made me want to dance and master it (which is why I am somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to that). I'm really waiting for him to come out on stage at the BET Awards, that airs on Sunday, say "And this is how you make a comeback," perform BAD with perfection at it's finest, moonwalk off, and then have us screaming for more lol. But I know that's not reality (but i really want him to do that shit on the low though).

But seriously, I was talking to my mom earlier, and the newspaper was on the kitchen table and I made sure NO ONE threw the main page out because it had MJ on it with his signature "Billie Jean" performance look, in the spotlight. I was like, "UNH UNH, let me put this in a safe place because this will not be thrown out. This is a historical piece of paper right here." And she agreed because it truly is. As tragic as this moment in time is, it's a very historical moment as well. I told her we've lost the 2nd greatest man to ever live. She corrected me though and said he is the 3rd. Let me get you into the list:

1. The GREATEST man to ever live: GOD
2. The 2nd greatest: BARACK OBAMA
3. The 3rd greatest: MICHAEL JACKSON

I couldn't disagree with that lol. I mean, we have immortalized MJ so much throughout of his entertainment career, we really did not expect for him to die. Like one of my friends said in her status on Facebook, I really thought I would die before he would (and I'm so sincere about that lol). It just does not feel real to me yet. I just know that now, more than ever, people are coming for the KING OF POP title now. Of course, they will all say that they can never be like Michael Jackson (AND THEY BETTER BELIEVE THAT SHIT), but deep down they think it's their chance. NO NO. That will never happen, in anyone's lifetime. We can have all of the Chhris Brown's, Usher's, and Ne-Yo's in the world, but it will never be to the perfection, and precision, that is MICHAEL JACKSON. So, if anyone who wants to be in the entertainment industry that is striving to become a singer/entertainer and reads this, all I ask of you is to please be ORIGINAL. Yes, Michael Jackson wrote the rule book on how to become the KING OF POP, but in order for you to be the new King, you must change the rules and bring originality. He can be imitated, but NEVER DUPLICATED. Understand it, and keep it moving.

As for the media, this autopsy business . . . that shit is for the birds. I honestly do not care how he really died, but I guess inquiring minds still want to know. He has passed, let him rest in peace. I won't be tuning in for that speech, I'll probably hear it from my mom or my uncle later on during that day. Also, this "where does that leave the kids?" business . . . last time i checked, they had mothers. Oh yeah, and THE JACKSON FAMILY!!!! The media can be so damn stupid lol. Plus, he has a will (I think), and I'm sure the kids are going to have a place to call home, as well as other things that he has left behind.

One of my mother's friends asked what was the purpose for all of the media coverage for him. All she knew was that he allegedly molested children. She also said it seemed like the world stopped for him. WELL, it did!!! Despite all the controversy in his life, all the negativity and mystery that came with Michael Jackson, you could not deny what this man was about as a whole: an entertainer who touched the lives of millions with his music and videos. All that he has done for THE WORLD surpasses the negative. He was massive and his collection of work will live on forever for generations to appreciate. He will never be forgotten, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!

From a true MJ fan, and others . . . . WE LOVE YOU MICHAEL!!!!

Michael Joseph Jackson

August 29, 1958-June 25, 2009