I Stand by Truth ... I Stand by Brandy.

yesterday i posted a status on facebook and i think i'm just gonna keep it up there for a while. it was basically a status about life and success. i got the words from my idol, Brandy. in a combination of both her words and mine, i posted that it is better to appreciate the journey of your life than focus so much on the destination of it. we all want success, but there are so many factors that come with said success; and if you don't acquire those factors throughout your life and learn from the mistakes made, then you'll just keep running down that path of ... nowhere.  that was my interpretation of it at least.  anyhow, Brandy's been saying this for a long time. i remember when her pregnancy special came on MTV back in 2002 and she was talking to her mother, Sonja, and her grandmother, and she said "i believe life is a journey, not a destination."  i was 14 at the time and i totally got it then.  i've definitely made mistakes in my life, but once i learn from them, that statement just comes right back because there's so much truth to it.  but she always seems to get me, along with others that love her like i do, right together when i'm feeling some kind of way about something.  she's just one of those rare artists ... rare people ... that can truly relate to the people that she touches, either through her beautiful songs or her "Brandoms" (via twitter), because she's been through similar issues, if not the same, just on a different kind of level sometimes.  she just makes you wanna do better, you know?  she makes me wanna do better, feel better, just be an all-around positive person.  i mean, i'm a naturally optimistic person already, but she just inspires me to be a greater being ... "Praise His Light" ... lol it's funny because i had a hard time writing after that last sentence ... i kept reading what i wrote above because i wanted to write about the status i wrote on facebook, but then it turned into an ode to Brandy. i have no problems with that at all lol, but it's clearly obvious that because i have pretty much grown up with her, being someone that i've listened to on a constant basis, and looked up to consistently, she's just naturally a part of my life now.  she has truly gotten me through some things (depression, relationship woes, deaths in my family, finding my identity) not just off her emotional and soulful vocal delivery through a song, but the truth that she puts behind it.  she is a gift, and as long she keeps her truth, i will stand behind her 4EVER with every fiber of my being.  i love her that much.

Celibacy Blues...

So...lol...sex has been on my mind more than ever for quite a while now. Every day in fact for the past 5 months. It's not necessarily all that I think about but it's just a constant thought lol. I believe that if I had gotten it on a more frequent basis while I was still in my relationship, I probably would have less sexual fantasies because I would be making them a reality lol. But I'm not, and now that I'm currently single I'm sure it's going to be harder to make it a reality, knowing that I just don't have sex with anyone. There has to be something there, a connection. I'd rather be in a relationship, or on that path to one, when taking it to that level with someone instead of hooking up with a random and regretting it the following day, you know? I just feel like that scares guys away nowadays. But I'm not gonna lower my standards because I'm horny or if the guy is cute, he likes me and wants to get to no me better. Don't even try it lol. So for now my sexual fantasies will be nice and imaginative, in technicolor and surround sound, until that someone comes and makes them a reality.